UNSATISFIED

'Mommy, where did I come from?' Mommy doesn't look up, just keeps
peeling potatoes. I ask her again. 'Mommy, where did I come from?' She
puts down her peeler, wipes her hands on her apron, pats me on the head
and tells me to go next door and play with Charlotte. 'O.K. Mommy. Are
you going to make home fries for dinner? Oh, do, do. Daddy and I love
them.' The screen door bangs and Mommy yells at me because I always let
it slam. Charlotte and I play with her dolls and then she takes out her
new game of Chutes and Ladders and tries to teach it to me but it is
hard on the first try. Her Mommy brings us lemonade and little cups of
custard for a snack.

'Want to come to my house now? We can color. I have a new book and new
Crayolas. I have white and gray, too. Char, do you know where I come
from? 'Sure, Janie. You came from heaven. God sent you to your Mommy and
Daddy.' 'But how did I get here? I can't fly. ' 'Gosh, Janie. I never
thought of that. I can't fly either. Let's ask my mother.' We do but
Mrs. Granger pays no attention. All she tells us is she is busy and
can't stop what she is doing. All she was doing was sweeping the kitchen
floor. She could have told us while she was sweeping.

Char and I hold hands, close the screen door softly and skip next door.
'Mommy, Charlotte and I are going to my room to color.' I guess she
hears me. We go up and I leave my door open. Mom walks in carrying two
of my washed and ironed stiff dresses. 'Why do you make my dresses so
stiff, Mommy? I told you they scratch all the time.' This question she
answers, 'Because that's the way I like them. You look extra pretty when
you are dressed right.' 'But, Mom. They hurt.' Mom walks out.

'Here, Charlotte, I have two kinds of red. You can use one. What color
do you want for Sleeping Beauty's gown? I'm going to color Cinderella's
dirty dress grey but I'll make her hair pretty yellow.

Mom comes back into my room, carrying my clean underwear, sox and
pajamas. As she puts them in the drawer, I ask again. 'Charlotte's
mother told her she came from god and we don't understand how we got
here from heaven. Did we fly?' 'Do you kids want to watch T.V. for a
while? Shucks, I forgot to get tomatoes at the A & P. I'll be back
fast.'

Char is in the bathroom. 'Char, Char, Quick come down. Peter Pan is on.
That's my favorite movie. Peter can fly. Maybe if he can fly, we flew
too and our wings melted.' We sit on the floor and sing with Peter, 'I'm
flying. I'm flying. Look at me, can't you see, I'm flying.' Mommy laughs
at us, goes in the kitchen and comes right out again. 'Charlotte, your
mother told me to tell you to come home soon.'

My friend leaves and I go in to see Mommy again. 'Mommy, where do I come
from? If I flew here from god, what happened to my wings?'
'Janie, god had whispered to me that you were already on your way to us
but he wanted the way you got here to be a secret until you grow up and
can understand. Now go put the salt, pepper and napkins on the table.
I'll bring in the china.'

T.V. was still on and Peter was singing, 'I won't grow up, no, I won't
grow up. I don't want to go to school.'

But I DO want to grow up so Mommy can tell me the secret she and god
have together. I'll just have to wait.