Blowout ! Boom! Aaron swerves off the road into a huge jagged granite wall. My heart beats fast, thumps like a bass drum. Thank heavens my husband was only doing 40 on this gorgeous, secluded Vermont road. It twists and turns, dips and rises thru the Green mountains. I take a deep breath and open my door at the exact same moment Aaron opens his. Water is running out of the bottom of our car. The hood is up in the air, dented so we can’t close it. Our headlights are scattered everywhere. Not another car is in sight, nor did we pass one for close to an hour. It is desolate out here.
‘Aaron, call AAA, a garage, the police. Do something. Call somebody, for god’s sake,’ I bellow. ‘Julia, my cell won’t work. No sense trying it. We are in granite heaven. Let’s be calm and cool.’ ‘Are you trying to be funny, Aaron? Cool? The sun is almost ready to drop behind the tallest mountain here. We’re going to be cold soon, not cool. Do you think the car heater will work?’
‘Jul-e-a,’ he says. I know when he calls me that, I should shut my mouth. Aaron tells me that sooner or later a car will come by and may not even see us. ‘ Did you happen to see any cottages, stores, gas stations since we took the wrong turn? You’re the one who wanted to be daring, explore, go where everything is peaceful and green. We’re here, Kiddo. How do you like it?’ I walk right up to his face, ready to slap it, when he grabs my wrist and tells me to get in the car.
Twilight has come and gone. The only light is from the sparkling stars and Kate Smith’s moon coming over the mountain. It’s truly beautiful, so peaceful. There are no car fumes, no honking horns–only the buzz buzz buzz of mosquitos drinking my blood. ‘Oh, my god , Aaron. I’m being eaten alive. I’m bound to get typhoid. They must love my Shalimar. I’m wearing it for you, not them.’ I swat and curse.
‘We can have a midnight picnic in the car, escape some of these blood suckers. Will you get the basket from the trunk? Get the flashlight for me, too.’ I take the flashlight from him and give instructions, ‘Don’t watch me. Don’t listen either. I have to pee. ‘ Aaron gives me great advice. ‘Stay on the road. There are rattlers out there.’ ‘My profound thanks, Husband. If there are, most likely they take short cuts over the road.’
Aaron snickers at my bon mot. He pees louder than I do and doesn’t wet his pants. Men are lucky now and then. Oddly, we both get in the back seat of the disabled car as if we were doing a dance routine, timed perfectly. ‘How about a still cold Schlitz, Aaron?’ He takes it and pops the can, hands it to me. He opens another and we toast the moon.
By flashlight time I see it is one a.m. Our sandwiches and all the beer that’s fit to drink are gone. ‘I’m getting cold, Honey. Let’s cuddle and fall asleep.’ We cuddle. We kiss. We cuddle. We kiss. Our eyes close.
There is a noise, a fantastic wonderful noise. The most gorgeous sheriff’s car we’ve ever seen is coming down the road just as morning light hits the banged up tree that came out of the woods and rooted in front of us. The sheriff listens to our tale of woe, gives us a ride to the closest Sheriff’s office, five minutes away. ‘Better you stayed where you were, Sir. Bears sleep in winter and are roaming around here all summer. I just might have found a bag of bones, a hank of hair and some empty Shlitz cans if you weren’t as smart as you were.
‘Officer,’ I shyly ask, Do you have a lady’s room?’
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