Which way ?

WHICH WITCH?

 

I'm a bored, somewhat wimpy person who can well use a new interest, a little excitement in my life. My favorite T.V. show is the History channel. I am always learning new things from it. Just last Tuesday there was a full hour of the history of witches, warlocks, covens and how they came to be, and where they are now.

 

Google offered me scads of info. Several groups exist close to where I live in Salem, the perfect place to begin. Emails fly from me to Cass Ket, as the main witch likes to be called. Her coven meets in secret in a secluded cove, complete with a dry cave. Cass will meet me at the fountain in Walden's Mall 7 p.m. Sat. September 10. The meeting itself is thirty minutes away and she will get me there. Inside of me I wonder if we go by broomstick. My new friendly witch will be wearing all black, a large velvet hat with a red rose so I will recognize her. I should also wear all black and a hat with a red silk rose. I don't have one but Walden's does.

 

My god, is she ugly. Cass Ket has a really big wart on the tip of her nose. I can only imagine how bony, skinny she must be under her coarse witch's robe that barely touches the ground. Pointed shoes elongate what seems to be a size much larger than most shoe stores carry in stock. And her voice scratches, cackles like a bad electric connection. Yet, I have already learned that Cass has been president of Witches and Bitches, Inc. for two consecutive years.

 

No broomstick. A limo with a driver, also outfitted in black, awaits us as we exit the mall 's back entrance. The half hour drive to the meeting is taken in almost total silence. Cass leads me over sea shells, large pebbles to the cave. A little past the entrance I can see figures in white robes holding lit torches. Hoping my slight fright doesn't show I enter behind Cass. There is applause and bowing to her and a quizzical look on some faces as they see me. I take a deep breath and surely turn white when I see a body lying on a large elevated stone bed. Both the white and black dressed members hum, kneel and pray. The body moves. A pretty young girl, about 25 I guess, sits up and looking straight at me, orders all who did not pray to be lashed. Cass saves me, orders her to not give orders. She is a lowly, mean, nasty witch and will soon be excommunicated.

 

This befuddles me. Cass, the Black witch is the Good Witch? The woman in white is the Bad Witch? It isn't necessary for me to speak, and I couldn't if I were called on. Chains clank. Torches light the outside darkness. Dragging feet come closer and closer. There is much excitement in the cave. The Warlocks enter wearing halos made of briars. Recorded music plays softly. Cass opens the awkward dancing to the first Warlock. The other witches take their choice and soon all have partners, all except me.

 

I am a lowly guest. I remove the red rose from my hat and before me stand two warlocks dressed in white. They argue in a strange tongue, come to the conclusion neither wants to dance with me. Slowly I inch my way to the cave's exit, wait an eternity for Cass to take me back to Walton's where my car waits.

 

It is already Monday and the History channel will be on at 7 p.m. I'll check it out to find something else to stir my innards. This one was exciting but I have had it with witches. Maybe History will do fairies.

 

If so, I will try it.