‘Let go! That hurts! At the top of my lungs I yell at Johnny. He holds my braids tighter, pulls them down until I think he is going to rip them out of my head. He’s behind me so I can’t kick him. All I can do is scream and cry. Johnny lets go and I run away as fast as I can. Half way down the block I slow for a second, look behind me and see nobody. I breathe easier, walk home instead of running. My head hurts and I want my Mommy.
On the corner waiting for his light to turn green, I am sure I see Johnny. He must have gone up the alley to cut me off. He waves. ‘Come on, Hurry up Natalie. We can cross now.’ I don’t want to cross with him now or ever and hang back. The light changes and Johnny doesn’t move. ‘I’m waiting for you, Natalie. Let’s make up. I won’t hurt you.’
Sometimes Johnny is nice to me. On rainy days we play Monopoly for hours in his house and he doesn’t hit me if I win. On Saturdays, he, I and my two girlfriends sometimes go to the movies together. He pitches in for a large popcorn and a super sized box of Good and Plenty. Last week we all walked home together. I was the last girl to get to my house. He went past his neighborhood to take me home, walked me to the front door and for no reason at all, suddenly hit me as hard as he could in my belly. I fell backwards down the steps and bruised my ankle. Johnny didn’t even bother to help me up. He just ran away. ‘Mommy, Mommy,’ I cried. She came running to me. ‘I fell and hurt myself,’ I explained. ‘Why didn’t you look where you were going?’ Foolishly I don’t mention what Johnny did.
After our usual family dinner, I limp up the stairs and get ready for bed. That’s when I see two big bruises. My stomach looks like somebody painted a black and blue moon around my belly button and a red zigzag mark on my ankle. I am so angry at Johnny and myself for not telling my mother and his what he did to me.
In the middle of the night I feel sick, get out of bed and wake my mother. Just barely I make it to the toilet and vomit. My mother holds my head, tells me I have no temperature and asks if I ate too much popcorn at the movies or did I sneak some Milky Ways from the kitchen when she wasn’t looking. All I can do is shake my head ‘no.’
When I get control of myself, I pull up my nightgown and let her see my big bruise. Mommy inhales deeply. ‘How did that happen, Natalie?’ I lie and explain that I must have done it when I fell on the steps, then lie again when I tell her I feel better. I don’t.
In the morning Daddy sees me limping and insists on driving me to school. I put up no argument. I kiss his cheek and thank him as he lets me out at the central entrance to Glen Oaks Jr. High. Johnny is standing at the door, holding it open for everyone, smiling like he means it. Without glancing his way, I walk past him with my head held high. As soon as I pass, he lets go of the door and follows me to my locker.
Just as I reach in to get my geography book from the top shelf, Johnny slams the door on my hand. Clever Johnny insists somebody pushed him but I saw nobody close enough to do that. My thumb is surely broken. Johnny wants to take me to the nurse’s station but I stand still, wait for him to face me squarely and then kick him hard, really, really hard between his knees. He yowls as if he were being murdered. Inside I’m laughing. Two of my pals come over to see what happened and ask him why he is holding his thingamajig. Darn, if that animal didn’t tell them that I kicked him so hard he may never have children. The girls look at me in disbelief, don’t notice me cradling my hand with most likely a broken thumb. They tell me to apologize to Johnny and I tell them to go to class.
With no hesitation I ignore one of my mother’s twenty Commandments, ‘Thou shalt not curse anyone.’ With fire burning my tongue I silently tell the three of them to go to hell.
Using one hand I slam my locker closed, twist the combination and meander to the nurse’s station alone, thinking it best if Johnny never does have children .
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