The outing

LION COUNTRY

 

Catherine and Carol are anxious, waiting at the front door. Their daddy, my husband Andy, is almost all set. Wrapped in a blanket, he puts both his Nikon wide angle lens and the long range one in the locked trunk .The girls sit in the back of our fairly new blue Honda guarding his precious rolls of film and our cooler that will give us nourishment if we are stranded amongst the buffalos. I have a cloth bag with Band Aids, Iodine, Neosporon, and a paper bag with chips and foil wrapped pickles on the floor, just big enough to make me uncomfortable. 'Girls, don't snack yet. We haven't even started our ride.'

 

Andy asks me, 'Did you bring the coupon?' I know I have it but have to show it to him. 'Children free on Sundays 1 to 4.' We will be there about 1 and leave before 4. Perfect. 'Adults , $5.00 each.'There is a line at the gate when we finally reach it. We are given maps and strict instructions of what to do and not do. I read it loud and clear to everyone and memorize the rules myself. 'Follow the signs.' Stay on the car routes.' 'Do NOT open windows.' 'Do NOT feed animals or birds.' 'Do NOT leave your car for any reason once in Lion Country.'

 

Andy hands the coupon to the guard. He takes it, glowers and shows it to Andy. 'Mister, this coupon expired last week. That will be $10 for each adult and $5 for the children. You don't have anyone in the trunk, do you?' Andy thinks he's cute and tells the guard,' Yes, my grandmother is in there with her oxygen tank.' The guard laughs, puts out his hand for the $30. Andy asks if he can put it on his charge card and is surprised when he can.

 

Caged exotic birds make noises I have only heard on Animal World. Yellow, red and even bright blue beaks, white feathered tails go by dragging in the sand. Andy, the ornithologist in our car, says 'Look, Girls, that's a bald eagle, our American symbol. He's really big and strong. Look at those talons. I'd hate to have them dig into me.'

 

Cars are piling in. Andy finds a pretty good spot, carefully writes its location inside of the car. 'Andy, for god's sake. What good is putting the location IN the car? Here, give it to me. I'll keep it in my purse.'
We start to get out and Andy yells, 'Wait, wait, let me get my cameras!' He puts one on each of his shoulders and we're off.

 

A siren blares. Whistles blow. Jeeps come rolling down the paths. 'In your cars, everybody inside NOW! The guards are dressed in safari clothes. They carry rifles. The girls had only stepped out of the car when they were quickly swallowed up, carried away. In a second, Andy, heavy camera on his left shoulder, jumps out of the car intending to find our daughters. He pauses long enough to drop the car key on the ground and doesn't see it. 'Move, Andy, you are standing on it. Give me the key. I'll keep it in my purse and wait here for you and our babes. Go, Go!' I am really frightened for lots of reasons, my children are being carried away to White Slavers digs; Andy won't find this car for a long time; and I am here alone in a crowd. I see Catherine and Carol, wave frantically, open the door and they climb in. Andy is god knows where.

 

The chaos is clearing. We open all the windows to hear the announcements that were merely muffled static. 'Ladies, Gentlemen, Children. Lola, our favorite lion, was frightened by a large flying peacock and got a little wild, went where she wasn't supposed to go. We found her hiding under berry bushes in the elephants' playground. There are no casualties. If you want to see Lily get her dinner, drive slowly thru Gate 6. Stay in your cars or you may be her dinner. Ha Ha. I'm only kidding. Go slowly and enjoy yourselves.'

 

We are going nowhere until Andy finds us, sit and sit, waiting. Where can he be? And then I see him. 'Look, Girls, Daddy's in the jeep with those guards.' The two strong men bring him to our car. One sticks his head in the front window and suggests I drive. 'Your foolish man could have been hurt but instead he got lucky and has tons of good pictures. Maybe Time will buy a few.'

 

I thank the men, give Andy a look that could kill faster than Lola. Sheepishly he gets into the driver's seat and I show him the rolls of film he left in the trunk.

 

He doesn't realize what I just showed him and asks for a turkey sandwich, pickles, chips and a cold drink. I give it to him and he is happy.