truth or consequences

THE LION LADY

 

Margaret and I super market together early every Tuesday morning before Titan's shopping carts begin crashing into each other. Today, as soon as I get in Maggie's car, she springs news on me. 'Sandy, guess who I happened to see having lunch at Lloyd's Lounge yesterday?' I can wait. Maggie's eyes and ears are open for gossip, even before it is gossip. While I am not interested in her latest bit of dirt, I have to ask anyhow. 'Who did what with whom?' Her reply lacks enthusiasm, is slower than usual. 'O.K. I hate to tell you but must. I saw your husband (but he didn't see me). He was having lunch and cocktails with a pretty lady. She had bottled dark blond hair, a flawless complexion and long dangling earrings.'

 

I smile and lie with a straight face. It is as straight as William Tell's arrow. Not a quiver does it make. 'Oh, I know who that was.' I reply. 'It had to be Lulu. She's been working in the sales office since way before Ben began working at Waggoner's. Lulu's married, has three teen age kids. Forget it! I already have.' But I haven't.

 

I'm weak in the knees, can't concentrate on my shopping list. At last I am  able to change the subject. 'Maggie what are you going to do with the chicken breasts that are on sale? I'm sure you'll buy some, freeze some. Right.' Oh, Lord, what made me ask about breasts? I know what she will do, skin them, dip them in Shake 'n Bake and bake them until they are dry and tasteless. 'Maggie you can't say 'no' to me. You pick up two custard pies, I'll get corn on the cob and marinate tomatoes.' I fib, tell her Ben may do over-time tonight.' He tells me how busy the shop is. Let's do it another time.' Whoopie, she bites and drops it.

 

After I put my groceries away, I notice a voice mail. It's Ben. He really does have to work late, at least that is his story. When he comes in close to 9 p.m., I give him the third degree. ' Why this late? What do you want to eat? I can fix a fresh salad for you or a cheese and tomato sandwich on twelve grain  bread. 'No thanks. I had a big lunch today at Lloyd's Lounge.' 'How come so fancy?' Mr. Innocense slightly furrows his brow. I can picture the wheels spinning in his head, searching for an answer.

 

The furrows amount to nothing. 'Greta and I had lunch together.' 'You did? Do you mean Greta, your very distant cousin from distant Hartford? Why didn't she call me? I'm glad she didn't. I never liked her any how.'  'Yes, that Greta. She's had a hard time lately, wanted my advice.' He's lying to me. I can tell. His nose is starting to run.

 

Ding dong, the doorbell rings. Maggie and Milt are holding what looks like Care Packages. 'We knew you were working late so brought some chicken over for you.' Maggie hands me a custard pie and pulls me into the kitchen. 'Sandy, I couldn't stand it any longer. The lady with Ben was not named Lulu. It's Dorothy.'

 

'Maggie, thanks, but Ben is tired and we have a lot to talk about tonight. Take your delicious baked chicken home, freeze it, we'll come another time.'

 

'Be nice. Do me a favor. Leave the pie.'