Revenge

KNOCK KNOCK

 

Gerry is all dressed up today. She has had her hair done by our Mom's hairdresser and her finger nails filed neatly. Mom has allowed her to have colorless polish put on. We are all excited as Saturday is our brother's Bar Mitzvah day. Today he is still a boy child but Saturday after he reads from the Torah, thanks our parents and is blessed by the rabbi, he will be a man. Uncle Maish, who lives in Canada and can't come to the celebration, already sent David an electric shaver.

 

I was allowed to invite two of my girlfriends to the Sabbath luncheon. We all have on our best dresses and feel quite grown up. Barbara, a distant cousin, has to say 'hello' and more to Gerry. Miss Sweetness tells her that her nails look nice but why didn't she color them instead of wearing namby pamby colorless. Then she adds, 'One of your nails must be rough. It looks like you have a run in your panty hose.' I see Gerry gasp and look at her legs, her fingertips and all of her pride just sizzles and goes out.

 

The synagogue is almost full. David is called up to the bimah to read his part. If he makes any mistakes, nobody but the rabbi and cantor will notice. Mom, Dad are  so proud of him. Family, friends shake hands with him, congratulate him, hand him envelopes with checks inside. David's friends crowd around him and sing Hatikva in the aisle. It is warm and wonderful.

 

Gradually the guests, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends go in for lunch.  David is at the head table with our immediate family. Rabbi Hirsch brings him a gift of the traditional prayer book. Right behind him is Barbara. 'David,' she says. 'You should have shortened your slax. I was sure you would fall on the steps. And your tie was crooked. Why didn't your Dad fix it for you?'  I can't control myself and suggest roughly, 'Barbara, go sit down with the rest of the girls. This is the Honor Table. Your seat is at #12 along the wall.' She leans over my shoulder to tell me my face is pale and I can use her rouge if I want.

 

It isn't nice, I know, but I am going to get back at her somehow. A tiny idea comes into my head, one that is not proper for this special day. The luncheon is great. All of the adults drink wine, eat until they are ready to plotz, shake hands and leave, knowing that Sunday will be the big dinner party. It will be just like a wedding without the wedding cake. All the close relatives get their turn walking down the carpet to shake hands with David and light a candle in his honor.

 

My dress is beautiful. It is more than a dress, it is a gown, my first. I burst with pride. Compliments, congratulations swell my head until Barbara approaches me. 'Sandy, I think somebody let wine dribble on the back of your gown. I hope it comes out but red wine on silk probably won't.' That does it. 'Barbara, turn around. There is something on your dress too.'
          
Her face turns to ashes when she feels my foot making a wine print on her behind. Yes, I will be punished, might even have to use my whole allowance for a few months to buy her a new dress but she gets the message and that is good enough for me.