NOW FIRST - - LATER LATER

When I came into the living room, my daughter’s current ‘special guy’ was sitting on my very new carpet. His right pant leg was slightly rolled up, both shoes and socks were haphazardly nearby. I stopped, in shock, seeing Barry picking on his toe nails. ‘What in the world are you doing? Barry? Whatever it is, it is ugly. Please put your things back on. You want to do that, do it at your house, not in mine.’ As surprised as I was at seeing this private display, I was more surprised at Barry’s attitude. I came near to slapping him. ‘What am I doing, Mrs. Parks?’ he asked. What’s so terrible? I have an ingrown big toe nail and it hurts.’ Then go to a podiatrist, Young Man, go home, go sit in the gutter. I don’t care. Just don’t do that here again.’ If I had a saber, I could cut the air into tiny bits.

Anne, now a semi-independent 18 year old, looked adorable. Her blond hair barely touched her shoulders, her dress was becoming, fun and her smile was wide but a question mark was hanging from her lips. ‘What’s going on here, Mom? I heard your loud voice all the way in my room. ‘ ’Ask your friend. Have a nice time and be back for dinner at 6:30.’ Gulp. Anne wanted Barry to have dinner with us. I was on the spot. Barry must have been uncomfortable to and saved the moment.He had to be home as his grandparents were coming over and wanted to see their favorite (and only) grandson. As soon as they pulled away from the curb, I vacuumed the carpet wishing I could vacuum Barry out of Anne’s life.

Our dinner table was set, roast ready, for 6:30. Arnie, my husband, and Bea our younger daughter, talked. By 6:45 we fidgeted. By 7 we were angry. By 7:15 we were worried. At 7:16, my watch set exactly like my computer, Anne came in. She didn’t speak to us and went straight towards her room. I could hear her sobs. Arnie started after her. ‘Leave her alone, Arn. She and Barry must have had an argument. I added softly, ‘I hope so,’ The roast I had tested several times was a bit dry and tough. ‘Bea, help daddy clear the table. I’ll be down soon.’

Anne, fully dressed was lying cris-cross on her bed. One shoe was near her door and I almost fell over it. The other was dangling from her foot. I walked over and laid down on the bed next to my darling. She rolled over. Her eyes were bloodshot, burning with anger. They looked like a bull going straight at the matador. ‘Mother, I hate you,’ she wailed. ‘What’s wrong with you? Every time I sorta like a guy, you chase him away. Paul was a jerk. Jimmy failed a grade in school. Donnie was snippy and too aggressive. Now Barrie is gone too. What’s wrong with him?’ ‘He’s a pig, has little culture, picks on his toenails in public, right in our living room, and sees nothing wrong with that. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, Anne. His folks must have no couth.’

Barry went. Along came Joe, Daron, Brandon. I tried my best to stay out of Anne’s love life. I never questioned her virtue, never got her a blind date. What went on at college was rarely brought up. With great pride we attended her graduation from U Of MD, cum laude, with a BA degree. The graduates paraded down the aisles to shake hands with the university president and receive their diplomas. Tassels tossed and it was over. We joined forces with the other proud parents, pushed, shoved our way, looking for our own kids. ‘Anne, Anne,’ I yelled.’Stay where you are. We’ll come to you.’ The hugs, the pride, flowed over like the Nile in Spring. Next to Anne there was a tall man, his face turned, evidently looking for his parents. Anne touched him on the shoulder and he turned towards us, quickly put out his hand to shake with Arnie.

Anne burst out. ‘Mom, Dad, this is Barry. Remember him, the toe nail reject? Well, now he is your son-in-law. Say ‘hello’ to Dr. Barry Rollins, Podiatrist.’