At least chuckle: SEEING DOUBLE

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The man standing in front of me on Macy’s full elevator had politely removed his gray fedora hat. He held it against his chest with one hand and with the other he tried to go under my skirt and to my panties. I gasped, raised my leg and kneed him hard in his ass. Not a sound did he make as he left the elevator at the very next floor, Ladies’ Lingerie.

 

My destination was three floors lower, the bargain basement. After looking at want ads for weeks, I finally got an interview and was actually hired. A load was off my mind. I could help pay my mother for my meals, even go to a movie without looking weepy.

 

   Adolphi’s Men’s SportsApparel–Wholesale had a small staff consisting of three men who manned the phones, took orders; three bosses but only two came in on a regular schedule; a bookkeeper, two file clerks and me. My worn, crowded desk held a Corona typewriter, a large calendar, note pads, pens, pencils, and a chained on directory of suppliers information.
                                                 

 

Mrs. Langley, a septagerian, had been with the same company for 20 years and took no guff from anyone. She took  newcomers under her wing, laid out the rules, the work that had to be accomplished and was pleasant doing it. After my first day, she motioned to me to meet her in the ladies’ lavatory. We flushed simultaneously. There was just enough room for a small table and two chairs. ‘Martha, this is hard for me to do but I have plenty of experience and mean you no ill. Adolphi’s policy is ladies should wear skirts and neat blouses, no pants. An occasional dress may be ok. Skirts and dresses should not be above the knees. Can you accept our terms? I gave a fast, ‘Of course,’ but was not sure I could do it.

 

Macy’s was open 9 to 9 on Saturdays and 12 to 6 on Sundays. Both days I was at the doors when they opened. Saturday I found a treasure on the Final Mark-down rack, a slightly flared tan skirt that needed no alterations. It was all wool, seemingly flawless, fit right and was only $4.50. On another rack I found a brown and green striped blouse
with long sleeves for $3.50. Excellent. At least I had one nice outfit.
Sunday was tougher but I persevered and found a deep green gored skirt and a crisp white blouse with one button missing for $1.95. My mother had a button box and would surely find something close. Daddy loaned me $20. At the dinner table I gave him back $10 and he told me to hold on to it, get another outfit next week. His day beard had started to grow and scratched my lips when I kissed his cheek. Daddy was a good winker, gave me one with a smile.

 

Dressed in new clothes, excited,I took the bus to Adolphi’s, walked  two blocks and there I stood in front of my new employers’ place, nervous as a mo  use who lives in a kitchen baseboard hole and a big cat lives in the rest of the room. The phone on my desk rang just as Mrs. Langley began to introduce me to my fellow workers. She picked up the receiver and that fast I had a good idea of what to say in the future. The job seemed so easy at first but every day another item was added to my responsibilities.

 

Christmas was nearing. A large green and red sign was posted inside    of the building’s front door. . LET’S ALL RELAX AND ENJOY THE HOLIDAY. The two Adolphi’s who worked every day invited each of us to a dinner party, particularly mentioned the cleaning lady, too. No gifts were allowed. Daddy gave me a new dress for the Christmas party, drove me to Hooligans and promised to pick me up when dinner was over. ‘Call me.’ I promised.

 

There were no place cards on the white cloth. Both of the Adolphi brothers sat together at one end of the long table. At the opposite end there was an oversized chair with arms. Brother one stood up, clinked his water glass for attention and announced we are all honored by the appearance of their oldest brother, the founder of Adolphis almost 50 Christmases ago. Adam Adolphi strutted in, took off his gray fedora hat and I almost passed out. He was the same man who’s face almost split when he got off the elevator and found himself in ladies lingerie.

 

I enjoyed my dinner and  glad Daddy came for me. Monday morning I was back at work, watching the door open and close, afraid the old fool would come in and recognize me. That very afternoon Harry Gold asked me out again and this time I accepted.

 

When he rang the doorbell and I opened the door, there stood Harry, wearing a gray Adolphi fedora. He told me all male workers there get a free one every Christmas. I laughed, took his arm and went out to dinner.