Disconnected

GONE FISHING

 

I leave the beauty shop, my hair restyled- looks super. My step is lighter, my spirits high. Driving home, I open the window just a crack so I don't damage my 'do'. Mother is nursing Mandy, my surprise new sister. She keeps her loving eyes on the baby, doesn't bother saying 'hello' to me, or even look up. 'Mom, hello,' I say. 'Oh, hello, Caroline,' she replies and adds, 'Come look at Mandy. She is holding on to my fingers.' My small happiness flags. 'Mom, look at my haircut. What do you think?' In two seconds, her quick glance is done. Two words escape her mouth. 'Nice, Caroline.' In my room, I look at myself again. Maybe I should shake my head, rough up my hair a little, but leave it be. I like it and that is what counts.

 

Dad gets home close to six. I have prepared a delicious pot roast, especially for him. The potatoes soften, brown, crust, in the flavor of the meat. We all like candied carrots and string beans. I anticipate a compliment on the colorful meal. Ha Ha. Mandy has had her supper on Mom and will hopefully sleep thru the night. Dad appears at 5:50. I open the door for him, get a peck on my neck as I stand directly, silently, under the bright ceiling light. He puts his coat in the hall closet and tells me he'll be back in ten minutes. And ten minutes it is.

 

Mom is tending dinner. Dad rubs his belly and tells her dinner smells good. 'Let's eat.' I serve. From my seat I ask Dad if he has noticed anything different about me. He looks slowly and asks if my dress is new. A whine escapes me. I am hurt. 'Dad, I have a new haircut. Do you like it?' 'Nice,' says he. He might as well have stabbed me, but I brush it off. 'Dad, how is the pot roast? I made it myself.' Dad says, 'Good'.
We eat.

 

I clear the table and go to my room, look again at my new hairdo. It doesn't look as good as I thought it did. Damn, I run my hands thru it, rough it up.

 

Mom walks in to tell me the pot roast was overcooked a little and adds, 'What in the world did you do to your hair? It looks awful. You wasted your money.' I snarl at her.'Tha nks a lot, Mom. You're a real joy' and almost push her put of the room.

 

Saturday night I have a date with Benny. My hair is already a mess so I let the shower wash away what I thought was so pretty, blow it dry. It turns into a blond Afro. Brushing makes it worse. Nothing to do but wash it again and try to tame it into submission. I spend almost an hour styling it, re-doing it until, I believe, I have just about recreated what the beautician had done.

 

Mother and dad say nothing, except, 'Hello, Benny. Have a nice time.'
Not only had I done a remarkable job on my hair, I put on a brand new dress for Benny. We talk about politics, movies, history. Benny doesn't mention my new dress until I tell him how pleased I was  to find it in his favorite color, blue. He manages to tell me it is a beautiful blue and asks me what I think of N. Korea.

 

Maybe I should really go fishing and drown myself.