The Coukoo Nest

CRAZY COULAHAN

 

The party is zipping along. Almost all of us have had at least two Buds, some 4, 5. The big drinkers are sitting together at a big round table in the club room. They have little interest in mingling with anyone. All that brightens their lives is being sloshed.

 

Nobody disturbs the big screen wall t.v.. It is permanently set on porn, all porn. A DVD disc plays rock and roll music from the 90's, 1990's. A couple of the wives shake their booties and anything else that is loose.
I count 28 of us having fun, letting our hair down

 

Suddenly the t.v. with the porn goes dark. The guzzlers at the big round table  bang their beer cans , whistle, stomp their feet. One of the ladies, Mary Anne by name, yells 'Come on wise guys, fix the t.v. How do you expect us ladies to learn anything. You don't teach us nuthin'.' That's when the front door opens and in struts Coulahan,  Crazy Coulahan. He's wearing a polka dotted clown suit with a big frilled collar. The red ball on his nose blinks on and off. His face is one big painted on smile. He heads right toward the dark T.V., takes a little screw driver out of his small white straw basket. 'Don't worry, Folks, he shouts. 'Coulahan is here. I'll fix the t.v. pronto.'

 

Big Bob raises his 6'7" from the round table, takes a few long steps and lifts Coulahan off his feet, carries him to the back door and drops him over the porch railing. Coulahan falls into the empty trash can, wiggles out, brushes off his polka dot suit, smiles at Big Bob and tells big Bob he had fun. 'Do it again, Bobby boy.' Bobby gives him a look dirty enough to kill and sends him home to play with his baby dolls.

 

Coulahan does what Big Bob tells him to do. He skips home and gathers 3 baby dolls, all dressed just like him in his polka dot clown outfit. From a closet he pulls out a pump and pumps each doll full of air until it is as big as he is and he makes sure the plug is tight so no air escapes. He goes back to the party and finds Big Bob at the table he was at before. When cards are dealt, Coulahan releases air from his clown doll  and all the cards and beer fly off the table, end up broken, torn and dirty. Oh, how he laughs, sings,  as Big Bob chases him into the alley. 'Run, run, as fast as you can, you can't catch me, you big bad man.'
Just as Bob reaches him, the two remaining gas filled clowns go up in the air, taking Crazy Coulahan with them.

 

Coulahan sails high over Big Bob's head. He can barely be heard when he calls down to his nasty friend, 'Look up, look up, it's going to rain yellow rain. He opens his fly and pees on Big Bob's head, holds a little in, and adds a touch of it into Bob's beer.

 

'Isn't this a fun party? Where did the girls go? I want to boogie with the tall dark haired one.' That does it. All the guests chase him, send him running home to his Mommy.

 

She enfolds him close to her striped apron, asks him what he has been doing all afternoon. 'Mama, I went to a party and had a lot of fun. I made pee pee on Big Bob's head and he couldn't even catch me because  his eyes were burning. Did I do good, Mama?'

 

'Yes my smart son. You did good. Let's sit down and talk to Daddy for a while. He told me to tell you he misses you and next time you can fly, come up to his cloud, and bring along your polka dot clown outfit.'

 

Crazy Coulahan has had a busy day, lies down, looks forward to tomorrow and sleeps away the night.