My Boy

NO MERCY

 

'Dad, will you please help me with my algebra assignment. I just can't get the whole idea.' He throws his World Report on the floor and growls at me. 'Alvin, let me alone. Don't you see I'm reading? Crapo, Son, algebra's easy. Put your mind to it. You'll get it!'

 

My evening relaxation has been shot to hell. I pick up the report and sit down next to Alvin and explain the theory again. He continues to look confused. Holding back my frustration, I call him 'Al' and ask him why he won't get a tutor at school. 'What a stupid reply he makes, 'I don't want to look dumb to the class.' I almost tell him the truth, 'You are dumb.' but don't. I spend another half hour with him, repeating what I have said a dozen times. Glory be, suddenly I see a sparkle in his eyes. His brain has latched on to something. He hands me the three examples I gave him to work out and they are all correct. His joy, and mine, result in his fixing us each a banana split with a cherry on top.

 

Alvin is a basketball fanatic, especially with his high school team. Somewhat sheepishly he asks after the dinner table has been cleared,
'Will you please, please, let me have ten bucks? I really need it.' I can feel my mouth drop open. 'Ten bucks? What for?' 'I don't want to be the only shmuck when Jeff, Eddie and I take dates to the malt shop after Gwynns wins. Their Dads already gave them date money.' I know I have to stop this new idea before it gets out of hand. 'Alvin, suppose, Gwynns loses the game, are you still the girls for a 'victory celebration?' My inexperienced son tells me he hadn't thought of that but most likely they'll go and try to sit in the back booth. 'See, Dad, I really need the money.' I give him two fives. 'Now get away from me and let me watch Gorgeous George bring Handsome Harry to the floor. Don't forget to give me the change!'

 

I am anxious to know if Alvin's team won, how he made out with his date and wait up for him. It's barely 11 o'clock and Alvin's home. 'Dad, here's your change, $2.52. We bought pop corn at the game that we lost, had burgers and malts at McDonald's. That shot a big hole in your ten bucks.'  I wanted to ask him if he kissed his girl good night, but didn't.

 

Alvin was home on Sunday, my almost fatal Sunday. I was cutting the lawn with our new electric mower and my hand slipped. Just as I was sure the mower was going to run over my hand, Alvin ran out of the house. 'Dad, Dad,' he screamed, 'roll over, roll over.' His voice sounded like he had a bucket over his head, but I rolled. Alvin had hold of the mower and was guiding it towards the basement. He brought me a damp towel and a cold drink. 'Stay still, Dad. I'll take care of you.  Mom will be home from the Farmer's Market soon and we'll both take care of you. I hoped Alvin didn't notice the big tear that must have mixed with what was running out of my nose. When I was again calm, cool and collected, Al put his arm around me and told me he had kissed the girl the night he, Jeff and Eddie went to the basketball game and lost.

 

'AL, you are a chip off the old block. I kissed your mom on our first date, too. How are you doing in math, Son? '