A Must Do

THE EFFORT

 

Sitting alone in what was once our cozy kitchen, sipping hot Nestle's chocolate, is a memory engraved in my heart forever. Lennie tried so hard, went thru hell so we could be together, a long time, or even just another year. God didn't grant him his wish. He is lying still in Sinai  Cemetery and I am standing there, tears running down my cheeks, my nose stuffed with sadness, every Sunday. I know for sure Lennie hears me and is sending me messages. Each visit his push seems stronger. Today he told me to stop my sniffling, he has little room to turn in his grave, so 'Stop it already! Go, live, bring a smile when you come, but Sweetheart, don't come every week. Sandy, Sandy, go live! I'll be here when you are ready.'

 

On my drive home I can still hear him and his words began to sink in. I talk to him while I drive the twenty-two miles, mumbling, 'Lennie, you are right but I just can't imagine life with someone else.' My Kleenex rips to shreds, my eyes are too blurry to drive safely, I pull over to calm myself, give the future some heavy thought. Tough words come out of my mouth. What I was saying, trying to express to my empty mind, was sort of making a little screw hole and twisting deeper with every breath I took.

 

'Sandy, Lennie is right. It's time I get back into the dating scene. I'm not yet determined to do this but am going to give it a try. Either it will work or it won't.' Where do I start? There is only my trusty puter to guide me. My fingers shake so much my first words are almost all spelled wrong. Delete. Do it over, Dummy. The screen is looking at me, making faces. I have seen many times a t.v. commercial for 'Match Up'.
One quick  glance at the young couples and I see angels flying, wedding bells swaying. The inference is they live happily ever after.

 

Face Book? Twitter? How do they work? What do I have to do to become 'a member', maybe meet a nice guy. I Google 'Face Book and am so bewildered, I close it off, rest my brain, and try it again, make a little progress. If only I can take control, read what the screen says to do, I might, sooner or later, get the hang of it. To get started, I have to enter my name. Well, I sure as hell won't give my real one and type in Acey Lucy. I didn't type that nonsense in, my fingers did it when I wasn't looking. I want to change it but it is too late, I had accidentally hit, 'enter.' So, here I am, stuck. My computer tells me I have mail, so I minimize Face Book and check who is writing to me at 3 a.m.

 

It is a message to me, Acey Lucy, 'Carlton wants to be your friend.' What do I do? I don't want to be Carlton's friend. I don't know anything about him but do know I am not interested. His name sounds like a pack of cigarettes. I burst out laughing to myself, if he's a cigarette man, what must I be, Acey Lucy? I leave Carlton hanging in the air, hit 'escape' and my puter goes off.

 

I am feeling pretty proud of myself. I didn't do a good job, got nowhere but tomorrow is another day. In the meantime, I dial my neighbor Dorothy, explain what I want to do, and she gets so excited she is at more door by the time I put my phone down and turn my puter on again.

 

She stands in front of me, smirking like a jerk, tells me she is on Face Book and has made many friends, can be busy all the time if she wants to be. I give her a folding chair so she can sit beside me and prod me on. 'OK, she says, 'First thing is you have to sign up. 'What name do you want to use?' I am embarrassed but tell her, I already gave my name as
'Acey Lucy.' 'What kind of name is that?' She laughs and tells me to think of another.

 

'No, I already got used to Acey Lucy and that's who I am going to be.'
'You have mail,' shows on my screen again. It says, 'Marvin wants to be your friend Acey Lucy.' Dorothy tells me what to do and I now have a new friend, 'Rocky,'. We will chat tomorrow.