CYBERSTUFF

I’m just about in the middle of a carefully thought out and researched letter to email to Senator Baum, TX. Wha happen? My cursor locks. Nothing works. I can’t copy and save my unfinished letter, open my four emails. Control, Alternate, Delete is out of order. Closing aol has died, and is unworkable too. The only thing that would work, if I had one, would be a blood pressure cuff. It would tell me in no uncertain terms that I am a candidate for a stroke. After a fifteen minute wait, clicking this and that, hoping aol was breathing again, I give up and log off manually. Using a modicum of sense, I pause long enough to dip a few graham crackers, piece by piece, into a hot cup of coffee and turn on my puter. It starts and so does signing on to aol. Four emails are waiting. I feel better, move the cursor, or thought I did, but it was glued to the screen. God damn it!

Leaving the non-working screen on, I get my handy ‘how to’ book for aol’s service number, wait for the same automated instructions I know by heart. As usual, I don’t totally wait for the questions but blurt out my answers. ‘Sorry,’ the robot says, ‘I didn’t understand your answer’ and I am asked again what my problem is. ‘You may say billing, tech,’ etc. I KNOW tech is not enough so I say, ‘Consultant’. Reply, ’ You wish to speak to a consultant. Is that right? ‘ ’Yes’. ‘Before I connect you I need more information. Are you using a pc or mac?’ I rush my answer and have to repeat it. ‘Your wait will be between five and ten minutes.’ I watch my watch. 12 minutes later a consultant answers. I give him the same name I use on line, my full name and am asked if I mind being called Peggy. ‘That will be fine.’ ‘Well, Peggy, how can I help you? ‘First tell me your name,‘ I ask his. He tells me but I can’t understand him at all. “Please repeat that and spell it for me.’ ‘J like in jump, a like in apple, until he gets to ‘l’ and I thought ‘l as in looney.’ We are ready to work.

My puter is on and the aol unworkable screen is before me. Jamal tells me to log off which takes forever to restart. Jamal and I chat about India while we wait. A thought comes to me, ‘Jamal, please give me this case number. It is best I have it for emergency..‘Peggy, you won’t need it. I am going to fix everything for you, but here it is.’ My pen is ready. 1065923KL47. Knowing my own carelessness I double check the number I have written down and am pleased I got it right. ‘Jamal, Jamal. Where are you?’ My line is dead!’ The operator comes on and automatically tells me. ‘If you want to make a call, please hang up and try again. ‘

To that point I have wasted a lot of time and all of my patience. Half a valium is called for. Even calming down takes time. The Senator may have already been unseated. I chance it and dial aol service again. This time I tie my tongue in knots and slow down answering questions by the Shadow. After all the details are taken care of he tells me he sees I have already talked to a consultant today so he will connect me at once, ‘ but first I need a little more information. Are you using a pc or mac.?I rush the pc again and have to grumble the answer.

The Consultant answers, asks me form questions including my whole name. ‘Do you mind if I call you Peggy?’ he asks. I tell Charlie the case number. I follow instructions and log off. While we wait for all of my icons to re appear we chat about India. Charlie comes back to me with an entirely different path from the one Jamal used. For every step, big or little, I hold the line while Charlie boy evidently goes to look thru volumes and volumes of instructions, different ways to deal with millions of troubles. His way works, I thank him. As soon as I am back on aol, I realize I have lost all of my font settings, my password and have to re-set them. The four lost emails may be amongst the 21 now waiting for me. I only take a quick glance at the senders name, delete any ads so come down to 15, pause, hit ‘write’............... and begin again, ‘Dear Senator Baum.’