'Here it comes. He's going to smash our wedding cake in my face. I turn my head and he is standing beside me, smiling, holding cake plates, forks and napkins for both of us. 'I love you,' he says, gives me a juicy kiss and the guests applaud. We use one plate and share the first slice of cake. It is good, really good. Danny eats ½ of his half and I finish it for him. He's busy, excited, hurries off to dance with his mother who is now my mother-in-law. Our big night was flawless, except for the time. It flew too fast.
The huge cake was way too much so we took 2 layers home and put them in our new freezer. We promised we would have a slice on each of our anniversaries. Our first year is perfect. Danny is going up the ladder at Waterman's Gold Exchange. The extravagant wedding gifts we received from our parents made life easy. I hate to cook so we go out to dine five nights a week, almost always to Italian restaurants. They start off with 2 margaritas for Danny and a glass of house wine for me. The garlic bread, greasy, oozing with cheese, spicy, hot disappears quickly. My plate of lasagna with bechamel sauce is empty. Alan leave's ½ of his fillet mingnon but finishes his brandy and sucks on a small mint so graciously left for him. This is heaven. Luck is with Alan and me. We have everything, especially each other.
Tonight will be our first anniversary. Tony's has the best baked ziti bolognese in America and equally good is their ricotta cheese cake, with spumoni. My belly is bloated but I don't care. The place, the service are wonderful and oooh that cheese cake, almost does me in.
A new bakery has opened in the Palm Beach Mall. I think they have a new perfume called 'Chocolate' that wafts from their door and entices me inside. The smell reminds my nose of the smell of hot apple pie coiling snakelike around Mickey Mouse's nose as the pie Minnie baked cools on the window sill.
In preparation for our fifth anniversary this Friday, I go to the freezer to get our cake slices thawed as a second dessert. Only ½ of one layer is left. Who can be nibbling at our cake? The culprit can only be me. Our special dinner is at Puccini's. Danny has two glasses of Orvieto, a shrimp cocktail and small fillet mingon. That is not my idea of a good dinner. Pucci's fetticini Alfredo is worth dying for. It oozes cheese, drips on the napkin I am holding over my chest. Alan looks disgusted. "You are going to 'oink' soon. Why do you eat such fattening foods? Have you looked in the mirror since our fourth anniversary?' I am floored. Before I can reply, before I get angry, before I can cry, our waiter appears with the dessert menu. 'Just bring me tirimisu and a cup of hot tea. Alan orders an Ammaretto and coffee. I am disappointed as there will definitely be no love making tonight. We drive home in silence.
The full length mirror in my dressing room leers at me. Alan walks past the door and tells me to take a good look at what has happened to the size 8, 118 pound girl he married. I see what he sees, a size 14 , 165 pound woman. More softly he adds 'I can't make love to you any more. You have become a stranger.' He goes down the hall to the guest room.
I literally wake at 7 and mentally for good. My breakfast is only O.J., a slice of toast with a little apple butter on it and a cup of tea. Without saying more than 'Good morning' to each other Alan goes to work. The club gym opens at 7:30. I call for an appointment with Mr. Magic, the Body Molder. ' We meet at one and he listens to me, sees what my problem is and sets up a healthy, bearable menu for me to follow. I start private exercises with him for 3 weekly sessions, plus I exercise at home. It is tough, really tough, but I love Alan more than lasagna with bechemal sauce.
We have to eat but I still am not a good cook. We go out for salads, fish dinners. I skip desserts. Alan increases his cocktails.
It takes four months for me to fit into a size 10 outfit. There are size 8s still in my closet like carrots held on a stick. My efforts at being the seducer instead of the seduced don't work. You can bet I cry a lot but useless tears fall anyhow. We settle our affairs almost amicably. I am a new person, stronger, more in control of my own mind and body. Alan seems to be enjoying his freedom. His new amour has insisted he join A.A.
The small remains of our wedding cake were thrown out long ago and Alan has been replaced in my bed.
My exercise lessons are now free and my teacher is giving me cooking lessons. Time has marched on.
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