THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT

Diane and Eduardo are all over the news. I feel like I know them and use their first names. Diane’s is something short like Cosby or Carlson. Eduardo’s I’m glad I can at least spell his first one. She holds onto his arm as they walk toward the airport security gate. The long snake-like line seems to be endless. Jackets, shoes are removed, computers come out of padded cases. The stacks of white trays are constantly refilled. Eyes, hundreds of eyes, watch Diane and Eduardo. He is 6'7"., very tall for Spaniards. She is a fraction under 4'11 ½ inches. If I didn’t know flight 066 was going east, I’d assume we were heading to Barnum’s in Sarasota. I gaze at them and wonder where they get their clothes that fit so perfectly.- and- where is the tall man going to put those giraffe legs on the plane.

I snap out of my thoughts, drop my purse and shoes into a tray, gently put my carry-on case in another, keep my lunch and a magazine in my left hand. A guard calls me over, shows me the small vial of eye drops I had in my purse and throws the Rx in the trash. ‘But, Officer, I need those drops.’ ‘Sorry, Lady, you should have checked the size. Notices are with your plane ticket, all over the airport.’ I am devastated. ‘Get a Chief over here. I must have my drops.’ The guard again tells me he is sorry. I reply, ‘Sorry? Shmorry. Am I supposed to lose my eye sight for 2 mg of a prescription?’

The Lone Ranger strides to my side, puts his 39" arm into the trash can and retrieves my vial, still tightly closed. The guard starts to draw his gun but stops dead. He is quickly handed Eduardo’s Consulate papers. ‘Yes, Sir. Sorry about that, Sir, but I have to follow orders.’ We move away from the line, retrieve our belongings and I grab an opportunity. As soon as Eduardo sits down on a cold grey metal chair to get the huge clodhoppers on his feet, I can reach him and would have hugged him to death if I could have. ‘De nada, de nada,’ and his laughter roars across the aisle. Heading towards the gate I count. Diane takes four, sometimes five, steps to his one. She is light and fast, looks like a Geisha with bound feet. He makes an effort to slow down. They are a show unto themselves. I am right behind them heading towards the gate. The couple don’t know it but we are a temporary threesome.

Before the wheelchairs and children without parents get on, Eduardo and Diane are called to the desk and escorted aboard. My section is called later and I find my own way to row 4 aisle seat. From there I can see into First Class and there is Eduardo Rodriguez leaning back in a tan leather lounge seat, Another chair faces him, his shoeless feet already cozy on it. Diane’s lounger faces his face. Rolling into take off position, I see those clodhoppers go down flat on the floor. Seat belts are on and we are airborne.

A woman about my age more than adequately fills the middle seat beside me. I start a polite conversation and a new crossword.puzzle. The captain and steward have finished their instructions. The jet quickly rises above the clouds, reaches the required altitude for an announcement that we can move around but keep seat belts on when seated. No one rushes to the loo yet.

The curtain between First and Cabin class opens a little. Rodriguez, slightly bent over, walks directly to me. I hear passengers buzz as in his charming dialect he invites me to join him and Diane to the empty seat up front. ‘We will be delighted to have you join us. Will you?’ he asks. He is rubbing off on me and I simply reply, ‘Si, Si, Gracias.’ ‘In which bin is your bag? I will get it for you.’ I don’t know how to say ‘up there’ in Spanish so I merely point. With great ease he reaches the red one with the white ribbon and leads me forward, truly walking on air.

Of course, I am delighted, more so than my former seat mate who is already lifting the center arm rest so she can spread out. I don’t say it but snidely think, ‘Lady, you don’t have to move the arm. You already are spread out.’ Instead, I give her my lunch, smile and say ‘Adios.’