SMALL THINGS

I’m weak, encased in wrappings, can barely move. Bars hold me. My eyes are bad. I can see almost nothing around me. A rustle of sound and a stranger approaches, touches my hand to be sure I’m alive, and is gone.

There is no toilet. Whatever leaks out of me makes my bottom burn. Liquid food comes in and I start to choke. Day after day it is the same, warm piss. I spit it out and it cakes on my shirt, stays there a long time.

Now and then I hear sounds, sounds I seem to remember. Can my ears deceive me? I like the sounds. They take away some of my anger. The monster holding me captive is big, strong. It lifts me from my cage as if I were a bag of potato chips that might break. I am tossed over its shoulder and am beaten on my back. My mouth opens and I throw up on that shoulder and am punished. Back into my cage I go, with nothing to do but lie still.

There is more than one monster. The second one comes in when there is almost no light at all, checks my back, rolls me over on my stomach and goes away. My bindings are not too tight but I can’t turn over. What is going to happen to me? I cry a lot, too much. My legs are loosened from the ties that bind me and I’m more comfortable. Slowly I bend my knees and try to crawl forward but bang my head and let out a scream. The monster returns, touches me, walks me in circles until I am dizzy. Again I remember, the familiar soft sounds, spit out whatever was put in my mouth. My clothes are removed and I am naked and cold. I believe I am going to die.

A new sound , a new feel, one I knew long ago. Water, water, nice warm water. I am submerged. My legs kick out and I squirm, try to get free. I can’t so I try only to keep my head out of the water. I think about the old very dark room where I was kept before this cage and wish I could go back there. It was better than this place. I had good food, was warm all the time and nobody stuffed things in my mouth. A soft something goes around me and my memory brightens, becomes more clear. I hear an angel sing, ‘Mary had a little lamb, little lamb,’ and tiny bubbles come out of my mouth. A face, a fuzzy face smiles. Warm lips kiss my cheek. My little bald head rests on her shoulder and I fall asleep.