SETTLEMENT

I love her. She loves me not. She loves me. I love her not. I love her. She hates me. The wheels go round and round-turn into unmovable flat squares. We argue over nothings. We debate important things like ‘how to pronounce ‘bologna.’ I argue for ‘baloney’ that’s what people say, is my stance. She says the ‘gna’ is correct and is a soft sound.’ It is a stupid, endless argument that has continued for years.

I think my hair is most becoming worn short, needs only a lick and a quick run through of my fine toothed comb. Roy, my better half (who can’t be more than 1/4 of me) likes it loose, resting on my shoulders but they are barely big enough to hold my many angers. My short hair cuts are lined up for once a month.

Winter comes every year. We like soft white snow falling gently, flames burning brightly in our 3 sided fire place. Now and then we get together, make love on the carpet, as the smoke and our peeves float out of the chimney together. But inside of me I know what happens next. Roy will ask me where I want to go in spring. Before the rainy season begins, I always want sunny beaches, aqua waves, blue cloudless skies and Roy wants Italy, Spain again, museums, antiquities before Easter vacations begin. He hates the disheveled bikers, drinkers, smoking, drugging. They forget the past, mess up the now, the future.

‘Let’s take a two week cruise on a really luxurious ship! We haven’t done that in years.’ I enumerate the quietude, huge, delicious meals, entertainment, meeting new people to whom we can tell our oft repeated memories. And..there are ports, places to see.’ My last three words stifle me. Roy’s face gets red. ‘What? What? Do you think for a moment I will get off our ship in line with 1500 passengers all going to the same places? And there will be 4 or 5 other liners already docked, discharging their thousands of lookee loos. No! No! Forget it.

From nowhere my mind sharpens. I can feel my own eyes brighten. ‘Let’s fly to Antarctica! It will be shtuping time for the penguins. We can watch them take unbelievable care of their eggs. We can feel the ice melt, see thousands of meteors zoom nightly across the sky until it looks like 4th of July in New York. It will be cold but we will be told what to bring and can get most of it from an Army-Navy shop. I wonder if there are igloos there.’

Roy has listened to every word and doesn’t realize I have been kidding him. ‘Say no more, Lil. Great idea! I’m going to Google it now!’ In a flash he’s on line, likes what he sees and hurries back to tell me he’s contacting our travel agent at 10 when her office opens.

‘Whoa, Buster! Not so fast. I’m not going to that cold, lonely country. You still don’t know when I’m kidding, do you? All these years together and you can’t remember I like the warm sun, beautiful palm trees swaying in tender breezes, visiting yellow birds nibbling at my breakfast left overs. ‘

Roy looks crestfallen. Why did I tease him, hurt him? What a bitch I am, a stinkin’ skunk. I apologize more than once, gather him in close to my heart. He knows I am truly sorry and silently forgives me. While he is blowing on his hot coffee I watch him watching me. I am deep in thought. Words, feelings, tumble from my pouting lips. ‘Roy, Darling, know what? My silly kidding wasn’t really silly at all. Antarctica has to be worth seeing. It’s the newest hot-cold spot on earth, with lots of space. I’m game. Let’s do it! And next year we’ll warm up at the Galapagos. Deal?’

‘Deal!’