CIVIL WAR

‘Don’t push me. I don’t have to like the ballet just to keep up with your snooty friends! You want to go see men prancing around like fairies with their dicks in cods, go. Go with Claire and Josie. In fact, ask Willie to go along. He’ll swoon over the men.’

Anne battles back. ‘I went with you to see ‘Chicago’, the hot dames, skimpy costumes, the gyrations. I saw you perspiring, your eyes on young breasts, long beautiful legs. Open-minded me went along and enjoyed every minute. You, on the other side, are an idiot!’

‘Oh, I’m an idiot am I? Who makes the money in this family? Who keeps tabs on expenditures, needs and gives you all you want? I fill the cars with gas, figure out the tips at your elegant restaurants, don’t I? The answer, dear Wife, is I do!’

‘Is that so, Brad? Without your father being Board Chairman at L.B.Fox you might be selling toilets. You have no class and the older you get, the more pain in my ass you become!’

Willie can’t listen to the constant hassle anymore and butts in. ‘You two are disgusting. Cut out the bickering. Cut it out now. Your foolishness is hot enough to set your house on fire. And you, Brad, slandered me. You insinuated I am a fag just because I enjoy ballet. You owe me an apology.’

Anne, like a silly child, sticks her tongue out at her husband and declares, ‘Nyah, nyah . Willie has you pegged. You don’t even know anything about your friend. If I were Willie, I’d clobber you. You are a sad representation of manhood yourself.’

‘Willie, who invited you to butt into our conversation? You want to go to the ballet, do it. Go home, go to hell, I don’t care!’

Willie’s face reddens. He almost explodes. ‘I am going nowhere except to order 12 tickets to George Balachine’s Nut Cracker. Tickets go on sale Sept. 4 and will be sold out in a week. Interested? I can try for 14.’ You will know everybody. It has been settled, I’ll put the fortune on my charge card temporarily and everyone will pay me in cash. Anne and you will be my guests. I’ll explain a few things as the program moves along. Once you get a decent taste of it, I bet you’ll be hooked.’

‘Ok, Willie. I’m taking you up on your offer. If I don’t, Anne may never speak to me again. And that may be the best thing that happens to me today.’ Anne looks like she swallowed a cat. She’s elated and hugs her ‘idiot’ husband, smooths his limp hair out of his eyes and winks to Willie.

‘By the way, Brad, two of the tickets are for me. My girlfriend, Babs is coming. She’s hot. Keep your hands off her or you’ll feel mine in your belly.’