DIG THIS ONE: TWO ROADS TO ROME

‘Jerry, let’s have a drink on the terrace before dinner. I want to talk to you. I’ll have a Cabernet and fix your martini just the way you like it. Martha already has the grill hot. She marinated the steaks and guarantees you will love them this time.’ I put down my book, The Last Days of Pompeii. I know backwards and forwards but always find something new to think about. ‘Sure, Beth. Tell me when Martha’s ready.’ I go back to my reading.

‘She’s ready. I’m ready, too. We’re going again this summer to Rome, to Pompeii and everything is arranged, but I don’t want to go. The place suffocates me summer after summer. Thousands of tourists, crowds everywhere, especially in Pompeii, flooding every thing that has been excavated in Pompeii and Herculaneum. I’ve had enough. Jerry, look at the sunset. Isn’t it amazingly red? It looks like Vesuvius has flipped its lid again and is angry at me for not wanting to return.’

‘Beth did you know I have crowned you as my favorite barkeep? You make a super martini. I may rent you out! Martha serves a great Caesar salad but sometimes she puts too many anchovies in. Will you tell her to cut down a little?’

‘Jerry, Martha and anchovies are not what I want to talk about.’ ‘OK, Beth. I’m ready for you to talk to me and I will answer. What’s on your mind?’ ‘Don’t yell, just don’t yell. Think first. Do we have to go to Italy again just because you love it? You work hard and don’t even get paid. We’ve seen the houses, atriums, urns, unbelievable tiles on the floors, the walls, colors still clear. The explicit sex may thrill you but I’d rather participate than look at the same old cold tiles one more time. You’ve read, studied, dug. A found coin is a treasure. The ear of an urn still thrills you, but it is boring to me.’

‘Whoa! Whoa! What the hell are you talking about? Our reservations are complete. You are crazy nuts. We are going to Pompeii and if you don’t want to go, don’t. I’ll go without you.’ ‘I knew you’d get hotter than your sizzling steak. Cool down. Eat, drink and let’s be merry.’ ‘Merry? What is this, Christmas time? I’m upset. I’m mad and I am going as planned. Dr. Kilman from U of PA and his wife will be lecturing and will have 10 senior students with them. Another small town just about ½ way between Pompeii and Herculaneum is being excavated. New equipment is already there. I’ll be busy from the day I get there, doing new things, meeting new people. ‘ ’Ah Ha, Mr. I, I, I. You don’t even know I’m there. I don’t want to be another tile on the floor any more.

The 1800 papyrus scrolls are important, but they are badly burned and will take years of careful work to make out anything. I can live nicely without that information. And what about the concern, not knowing why of thousands of dead found there were no injuries? Cripes, Jerry, even a 6th grader would know death was fast and it was caused by the gases, heat of the explosion. Lungs must have burst. Right? So, Jerry, are you sticking to your guns? You are going without me?’

Beth, my darling, I do want to be with you. If only we had unearthed King Solomon. He would have told us what to do. Could ½ of you and ½ of me go and the other half stay home? We cant do that. How’s this? You stay home and oversee a great contractor to build us a huge pool with a fountain in the middle of our garden. Would you like that, Sweetheart?’ ‘Not really. Then again, maybe I can locate a really good contractor who is good in other things besides houses and pools. How would you like that, my Darling?’

‘Oh, Beth, we are talking, aren’t we? How about you go to Rome. You love it there, don’t you? Stay at the George X. Shop, practice your Italian. You can eat, go the opera, watch the cats at the Coliseum, be busy all the time. I’ll stay with my group for only the first ten days and will meet you at the George for ten more. How’s that? Come sit on my lap. I need a kiss.’

‘Jerry, I’ll do more than that. I’ll be your dessert. Let’s go see if Martha left yet.’