ONE SIDE

He’s after me and I don’t want to be chased, at least not by him. Mr. Uncle of my Boss is a jerk. He works, if one calls it work, in the same complex as I do and is my nemesis. Harvey is at least thirty years older than I am, is pudgy, wears a toup and doesn’t smell as fresh as his mouth. Taking off his bifocals, wiping his eyes, then his glasses, he winks at me, winks and blinks, winks and blinks. I can’t keep my mind on my work.

‘Hi, Sally, it’s only 8 a.m. you can’t have a lunch date set already. How about joining me? I’ll get my nephew to give us an extra hour?’ I tell him a white lie. ‘I’ve brought my lunch today. You interrupt me so many times, I don’t have time to go out. I’m eating in the employee’s lounge.Go away, Harvey.’ His smile is gone. He is defeated, crestfallen. Perfect. I have no lunch with me and only wait for him to go in the lunch area to grab my jacket and head to Macy’s for a peaceful lunch.

Sherry, a fairly good office friend of mine, is well aware of Harvey’s quest and suggests two things to me. Tell the boss to keep his uncle out of your hair or you will have to quit work here. ‘Sherry, I’ve spoken to T.J. more than once and he tells me to ignore the old F...up. Yes, he says the words. I don’t want to quit. A slightly new position with a good raise is awaiting me before Christmas.’ Oh, oh, now I did it. My fairly good friend is going to do what she can to force me to quit so she can move into my spot.

A thought begins to gather. Why don’t I give in and go out with Harvey? I can act goofy, spill my drink, tell crumby jokes. Maybe I won’t be the angel he thinks I am. And so, I am on a see saw, waiting for another invitation, hoping I don’t get one, but I do.

‘How would you like to go to Aruba with me, Sally? My nephew says I can take my vacation soon.’ I am underwhelmed. ‘No, thank you, Harvey, I’ve been to Aruba and there isn’t much to see or do there.’ ‘We don’t have to do much, just sit in the shade, have a few drinks, good dinners. I’m a good dancer, I’m told.’ He is pitching hard but not hard enough. ‘Sorry, no.’

The very next morning at 8, he is waiting for me at the Security station. ‘How about dinner Saturday. We can go to the Copa and dance between courses. I’ll pick you up at 8:30. What do you say?’ I can’t take it any more, must have gone nuts, and accept.

I ready myself in work clothes, wear flip flops, kinK my hair and wait for Harvey. He’s on time, takes one look at me and tells me I look beautiful. Oh, my god, I am doomed. Short of jumping out of my 5th floor window, I’m going to the Copa.

Dinner was excellent. Harvey is a good dancer, but he didn’t like my jokes, didn’t like me licking my fingers, didn’t like me getting a little tipsy and falling off my chair. He paid the check, took me to my door, turned and drove away. Yes, I felt bad about hurting him but it had to be done. I slept fitfully, guilty beyond my own belief.

Monday I went in at 9 instead of 8 and didn’t see Harvey until I got to my desk and there he was on the other side of the room wiping his bifocals and blinking at Sherry.