CHICKEN LITTLE #666

Don't be frightened. I want you to know this story happens to be #666 in my current group of stories that I put in my documents, mail individually to my Fan Club. 666 is the Devil's number, but there is no devil so read on.

Both of my feet had just reached the cold floor. The heat hadn’t clicked on yet nor had the sun started to show its face. I gathered my old comfortable flannel robe from the top of Mathilda’s treasured hope chest and was just about ready to tie the ragged belt around my waist, when there was a tremendous thump on the roof. The whole house shook. Matty sat straight up, looked at me and asked, What have you done now, Nathan?’ ‘Nothin’, nothin’, stay in bed. I think there must have been a terrible accident out front. I’m going out to see what happened. Stay here!’

My slippers were inadequate for this cold morning so I took ½ minute and slipped on my lined work boots. As soon as I opened the door a deluge of neighbors flooded my pathway. Eyes were to the sky. Red flashing lights were flying up the street. ‘What’s going on?’ I asked Jim, my neighbor’s oldest son. ‘Ha Ha. Look for yourself. A piece of the sky fell on your roof.’ I looked but didn’t know what I was seeing. It was big, metallic, silvery and was hanging over the edge of my roof.

Firemen were already climbing ladders up the back wall. Matty’s screeching voice rang out. ‘Nathan, help. Somebody’s on our roof. Keep him away from the window. I’m not dressed yet.’

The firemen radioed down to their base, ‘Three.’ Three new men dressed in full emergency helmets, hatchets, rubber boots, oxygen masks, managed to carry heavy ropes, chains. Police were everywhere making neighbors move back, cross the street. ‘Just stay out of our way, Folks.’ But I was not to be chased. This was my house. ‘Move it, Mister. Move it now! You want that jet spare part on your head? No? Then Go! ‘Anybody else inside?’ he asked. ‘Nice to ask. Yes, my wife is getting dressed.’ He looked at me like I was crazy, and I guess he was right. ‘Get her out, now.’ He directed one of his men to find Matty but don’t frighten her. She’s getting dressed, is probably in the bathroom, second floor rear. The two of them had a good laugh while I yelled, ‘Go, Go.’

T.V. trucks and paraphernalia blocked one end of the street. The Albany Daily, Erie Sentinel had trucks, reporters, photographers getting in the way. Cell phones were glued to ears. Mouths foamed with the rush to get the words out and then the neighbors roared with laughter.

Out stepped Matty, swaddled in our old candlewick bedspread that had been in the hope chest until it semi-rotted. She was mad and embarrassed. Pointing at a fireman she said he saw her naked. ‘Nathan, talk to his boss and get him fired.’ ‘Matty, you can’t fire a fireman.’

Now that she was safe I looked at my destroyed lawn. It was of no consequence. A crane was coming on it, chains digging up every flower, every blade of grass. It had to get between my house and Joe’s Dad’s. With less than 12 inches on each side of the monster, I figured it was good the lawn was dug up. Matty could bury me right here.

A heavy chain net was hoisted towards the roof. The thing, whose name I still don’t know, was lifted in jaws bigger than that sharks’ and much, much stronger and lowered slowly to the ground. Equipment began to leave. New apparatus came in. A flat bed truck with metal rails received the thing and drove away.

By then we knew the part was decorative and it had loosened and fallen from an Air France jet and did no harm. Not until the plane reached Paris, did the men who prepare it for its next flight see the empty space.

Headlines were all over the States, France. Matt Laurie had Matty and me on the Today Show. Our story was in Time magazine. The roofer got a lot of free publicity and didn’t charge us. We don’t know who paid the police, the firemen, the truckers, the crane people, but we didn’t have to lay out any money. Unreal. Isn’t it?

Nobody likes to pay taxes, but we pay them. If not, I’d be in Pauper’s Jail and not telling you this wonderful bubbameitza. Hope you liked.