Monday, November 9, 2009

PAGE ONE

The three times a week local paper hit the screen door. Maggie fumed again. She opened it and yelled, ‘Tommy, I warned you, one more bang and I would cancel the insipid Camptown Capers. Consider it done. Bye Tommy.’ The Monday paper showed her November horoscope to be rough for a few days and was right. That very day there was trouble.

Today was the last day she’d throw her two dollars a week in the trash. The paper quality had gotten so flimsy, the sheets tore before she could turn a page. Still, she felt an allegiance to it as it was at or to her door for a few years. She took it to the kitchen, laid it on the table, scrambled 3 eggs and sat down with her cup of de caf Maxwell house. Her heart pounded as soon as she saw page one. ‘Willie, quick, come down here. We have trouble!’ ‘Whadda ya yellin’ about, Woman? Couldn’t you wait until I was out of the bathroom?’

‘No, just look at the picture on page one. It’s a drawing but it’s him. I know it’s him.’ ‘Who, Maggie?’ ‘Crap, your mind is mush. It’s the man I saw in Gloria’s yard Tues., the day her house was robbed. Willie, it’s him. I’m calling the police.’ ‘Are you nuts? Don’t get involved. You can’t help.’ ‘But, I am involved. I gave Officer Jordan my description of that guy who shouldn’t have been in Gloria’s yard but I wasn’t sure enough to work with an artist.’ ‘Read the article, Willie. If I could have described him better maybe the girl on the next block wouldn’t have been raped Tues. night. The paper says she got a clear look at him in a mirror when he made her face the wall. It’s him and he’s loose.’ Listen to me, oh husband of mine. You can stand on your head, divorce me, I don’t care. We are putting in a burglar alarm today. Gloria gave me all the details. If she had put the alarm in when she had wanted, she still would have her grandmother’s brooch, her father’s gold stick pin. The magnificent double strand of pearls with the opal clasp she got for a 25th anniversary present would have been safe in a drawer instead of in a pawn shop or around some whore’s throat.’

‘Maggie, cut it out. You don’t have jewelry like Gloria has, I mean had. What would a burglar steal here?’

‘Your precious lap top computer, your DV discs, your portable big screen t.v., your grandfather’s old shaving mugs and brushes and my diamond ear rings that I hardly wear. Willie, do you still love me? Tell me the truth. Do you think I am too wrinkled, a few pounds overweight, that I am undesirable? You don’t think someone could get into our house while I am sleeping and you are out playing poker ‘til early in the morning, rape and murder me? Well, think again. I am not chopped liver. Rapists are rats and you leave me here as bait. We are getting the alarm system if you like it or not.’

‘No, we are not, Maggie. A system is expensive to put in and there are monthly charges. Listen to me. Here are our possibilities. #1. We can buy a one time thing, a rottweiler, that would scare bejesus away.’

‘That’s ridiculous. I’m not taking care of any man-killing dog while you go to work and aren’t home 4 nights a week.’

‘OK. Then we can put this house up for sale, make a little profit, and find a small condo apartment with door security. How’s that?’

‘Willie stop it! I am calling Stay Safe as soon as you shut up.’

‘Maggie, don’t. I have the perfect solution that won’t cost us anything.For you I will do it.’

‘And what hair brained scheme have you got now?’

‘Maggie, my beautiful wife, I’ll talk it over with the guys and they’ll understand. They can come here every game so you don’t have to be by yourself.’

Maggie gave him a big taste of raspberries, went to the phone and called Stay Safe. She and Willie didn’t speak for a week that gave Stay Safe time to install the burglar alarm.

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