DIFFERENT STROKES

‘Lady, you sure are a pain.’ Jim throws his new paint brush on the bedroom carpet and scowls at Mrs. Lathrum. ‘First you wanted pale green and I brought you samples. Then you tried to make a fool out of me and insisted you asked for blue. You never mentioned blue, but I went back to Harrington’s and brought you blues. Now you want white. Go there yourself and if you know what you want, buy 2 gallons. The clerk will put it in your car. If you have it by 10 a.m. in the morning, I’ll come right over, be finished by 6 p.m. If I don’t hear by 10, find yourself another painter.

Mrs. Lathrum tells Jim to go screw himself and not come back. He picks up his brush, takes all of the samples he had brought her and tosses them like snowflakes on the carpet and pounds roughly downstairs and out the door.

As soon as he gets in his van, he text messages Mrs. Schneider. ‘Hello, Mrs. Schneider. This is Jim, the painter Mrs. Lathrum recommended to you yesterday. She’s decided not to paint so I’m free for a few days. Would you like me to stop by now so I can see what you want done?’ ‘Yes, Jim, but give me ½ hour. I’m finishing a pie crust that I have to brown. ‘ ’See you 10:30, Mrs. Schneider.’

He rings her doorbell at 10:28 according to the watch he bought at the Flea Market last week. An elderly lady comes to the door. ‘Good morning, Jim. You’re a bit early but this is fine. Please come in.’ Jim looks at his watch and by then it shows exactly 10:30. ‘Not bad,’ he thinks, ‘for $8.’ He let’s the difference in minutes not annoy Mrs. Schneider.

‘How about a hot cup of tea with a few chocolate covered cookies I baked yesterday?’ ‘Thanks, I’d love to join you but business comes first.’ She smiles and leads him upstairs. ‘I have three bedrooms and the bathroom I’d like to have painted. Here are my samples. My room, in the rear of the house, is the largest. I want peach #310 using Williams paint chart. Do the baseboards, window frames and sills, plus the door with peach one shade darker #311. The middle room is for my daughter and granddaughter whenever they can visit me.’ Mrs. Shneider hands him #120, aqualyne. ‘I like this one. It’s soft and easy on the eyes. Jim, don’t say a word. Get dark brown #614 for my grandson. He’s finished college, has his own taste. Make the baseboards and woodwork enamel white. I promised him I’d do what he wants no matter if I like it or not.The bathroom I want semi gloss white. It looks more sanitary than a color, don’t you think? And that’s it.

What’s the price including paint and tax?’ ‘Mrs. Schneider, your walls need some scaling to smooth the years away. I’ll have to prime them and apply 2 coats of paint. I hate to give prices like this because I can imagine the huge difference since you last painted. Don’t faint. With my helper we can be in and out in 5 days. $1800 is the full definite cost to you, no dickering.’

‘Sold, Jim. When can you start? I’ll have to empty the closets, take the lamps and pictures out.’ “How about next Monday?’ ‘OK. We will move your furniture and whatever needs to go out and put everything back. Believe me, you’ll be satisfied. All I need now is a $500 deposit. Half will go for paint to start. You can charge it to Visa or Master Card if you like.

‘That was easy, Jim. You sound legit, speak well. Judge Judy is one of my favorite shows so I must have a contract that we both sign. Do you have one with you? I want to read it carefully before we both sign.

Then let’s have some hot tea with chocolate covered cookies and you can head for Willams Paint Store. I’ll be ready for you Mon. 8 A.M.’